Signs That Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: He wonders why your other friends giggle to themselves when you tell him you were just giving the dog a bath in your bathroom.

9: He wonders why that eel on his aquarium keeps on dying every time he comes home from a business trip. Note: You were looking after his apartment.

8: He then wonders later why your pussy smell kinda fishy during sex.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Doggy and I just finished.”

6: He wonders why the dog he gave you last Christmas suddenly seems to hate him now.

5: You tell him you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, you get drunk and wake up in a stable. You call your boyfriend to pick you up. He asks, “What the hell happened to you?” You answer, “Riding?”

3: He accepts the fact that when he caught you in the cow pen with white milky fluid on your face you were just milking the cows but got so thirsty and drank the milk afterwards..

2: He doesn’t like going to your place anymore because he feels that all your pets are giving him evil looks.

And the number one sign that your Boyfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell him that you want him to fuck her pussy and he says, “Well, okay honey. But could we please get rid of that large tiger first?”

Signs That Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Understand You’re into Animal Sex

10: She wonders why you keep on taking her to petting zoo during dates.

9: She wonders why you spend more time with Lassie, your dog, you do on her.

8: You spend countless hours trying to convince her that being a bitch is not necessarily a bad thing.

7: You find yourself saying, “Come on over, Beast Wars just finished.”

6: “No, No honey, I wasn’t being unfaithful. When I said I had pussies for company, I meant REAL pussies. No! I MEAN CATS! No Honey! I am NOT gay! I meant REAL cats! Animals! Honey? Come back…please?”

5: You tell her you that your dog sleeps with you in your room without mentioning that the two of you do more than just sleep.

4: After having a fight, your sent her a poem. Unfortunately, you copied it from this site.

3: She doesn’t like going into your room because she feels that all of your pets are staring at her.

2: You find yourself forever explaining to her that , ME: Animals You: Shoes

And the number one sign that your Girlfriend doesn’t understand you’re into Animal Sex……

1. You tell her that you want to do it doggy style and she says, “Why did you bring that damn dog with you?”

Signs your Boyfriend Suspects that You’re a Closet Animal Lover

10: He insists on having the dog he gave you last Christmas be neutered at once and when asked he just mutters, “Better to be safe than sorry…”

9: He thinks that you had something to do about the way his pet eel died when you were looking after his apartment while he was away.

8: You look at his computer and notice that he bookmarked “Signs That Your Girlfriend is an Animal Lover” page from a website. You also note that he also bookmarked “Signs Your Girlfriend Suspects that You’re a Closet Animal Lover” from THIS site.

7: You have a fight with him after you and your girlfriend went to an aquarium exhibit. Later after you two made up and are having sex, he looks at you suspiciously in the eye and asks, “Honey, why does your pussy smell fishy?”

6: He won’t take you to the zoo anymore.

5: He won’t let you on the couch any more….

4: When you tell him you sleep with the dog, he hopes that’s all you do.

3: You tell him that the reason you were late was because you got detained by the police and he asks, “Which one, the Horse Patrol Unit of the K9 Unit?”

2: You spend countless hours that the girl in the internet picture fucking a dog is not you and it was your evil twin sister (yeah right!!!) who is trying to break up your relationship.

And the number one sign that Your Boyfriend suspects that you are a closet Animal Lover…

1: He growls at every dog that passes by saying, “Stay away from MY bitch, you mutts!”

There was a young fuck named Fischer
Who fucked a fish in a fissure.
The fish with a grin,
Fucked the fucker in;
Now they’re fucking the fissure for Fischer.

And here’s another one!!! Have fun!!!

If a dog fucker taught a dog fucker
To fuck ere the dog could fucker,
Ought the dog fucker fuck
Be taught to say fuck, or suck,
Or what ought to be taught her?
If to fuck and to fuck a dog fucker fuck
Be taught by her dog fucker tutor,
Ought the dog get fucked
If the dog fucker fuck
dog and fuck at her dog fucker fuck?

And here’s another one for you!!! Enjoy!!!

There was a barren whore
who fucked a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not fuck the boar.
The boar fucked the bear a bore.
At last the bear could fuck no more
Of that boar that bored him to the whore,
And so the whore fucked off the boar–
That boar will bore the bear no more.

Return of the Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines

Read it and laugh your hearts out..

More Bestial Sexually Slanted Lines

So what were you and Buster(the dog) doing alone in the woods at THAT time of the night? (As IF we DIDN’T already guessed….)

Here pussy, pussy. Wanna come out and play?

Can I join you in taking Rover out for a walk?

What exactly will we do in a petting zoo, Honey?

Dog damn it!!! I suck!!! I suck!!!

Hot Dogs!!! Get yer Hot Dogs here!!! Large and juicy Hot…..Dogs!!!

Girl: I want a horse for my Birthday!
Dad: What will you do with a horse?
Girl(Pauses for a moment): Ride on it?

Whoa! That elephant is HUGE!

It was a dogday afternoon.

And last but not the least bestial sexually slanted line (drum roll please)….

Fucking horse….!!! He SUCKS!!!!

And here’s another one for you to twist yer tongues with! Enjoy!!

I fucked a dog sucking Kate. I fucked a dog,
he fucked me, and she sucked a dog.

Don’t say around non-horse people….

Part 1

Horse people… don’t say these in public; Sure, you’re just talking about horses or horse stuff…. but non-horse people may get the wrong idea and become confused, embarrassed, or afraid of you.

Do you like my breast collar?

His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.

In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.

Don’t jump on him, sit down gently.

What a lovely Jackass!

She wants to breed to my stud.

There’s nothing like 17 hands between you legs!

Can I pet your Ass?

He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.

He’s got a lot of stamina, you can ride him all day long.

Is she a maiden?

I wanted to breed to her stud, but he’s all booked this season.